literally had 100 drinks last night.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
