Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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