He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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