considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
