do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
