The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize