I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Randomize
