kristin has been a bad kristin
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
