I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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