Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
