you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
