the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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