Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Randomize
