There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
