piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
