Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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