i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
