The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I'm eating all of the evidence.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize