worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
