Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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