Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
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