Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
