Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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