Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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