Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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