Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
