I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Randomize
