no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
