If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
