i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
