So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
3 2 1 whiskey
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
