I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
