some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Randomize
