I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
