Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Dicks are not precious.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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