I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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