I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize