At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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