apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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