He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
