yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Every concussion has its silver lining
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
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