I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
