I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
