i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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