In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Even my vagina gasped.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
