Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize