u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
