i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
