State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
We got so high we made milksteak
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
