everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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