i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize