Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
