2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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