I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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