She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
