My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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