just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
