we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
