He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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