I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Come see our sink grown plant.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
