you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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